I just visited Journeymama in India, and read about her attempt to nourish the girl-child she really is, despite the heavy responsibilities of adulthood and womanhood. Then I visited Eurolush in Germany, whose posts remind me regularly of the fun, laughing, joyful girl-child I really am.
Strange thing is that my actual childhood (not metaphorically speaking) rarely contained moments of carefree play. I had a very happy childhood, but my personality tended more towards solitary peacefulness and introspection than skipping around the house while singing, bouncing a ball and twirling admiringly in my new dress in front of the mirror. If you know what I mean.
My younger brother spent YEARS standing in the doorway of my room, BEGGING me to come play with him. I refused to play. I know what you're thinking...my poor parents. Oh, hell, they soon got used to my ways and accepted the serious, quiet, old-woman-child in their midst. Of course, I'm still stuck with her today, but I think that she actually became much more playful and fun as she grew older. By the time she turns 80 she'll be positively giddy with life life life.
That being said, I still balk at the pressure to "have fun." I've never met any girls who just wanna have fun. I have, in the past, ruined many an OK day by constantly questioning myself: "Am I happy now? Is it fun now? Am I doing it right? Is this what a happy woman looks like? Is this what a happy family feels like?"
And now I shall amuse you with my favourite music from a lovely film called "Pan's Labyrinth." Being a little girl is not so simple really.
2 comments:
Just yesterday I was skipping around the house while singing, bouncing a ball and twirling admiringly in my new dress in front of the mirror. How strange that you mention it here. Are you spying on me, Eleanor?
Really though, I think the introspective, solitary child you were at one time has made you into the intelligent, open-minded, open-hearted woman you are today.
" intelligent, open-minded, open-hearted woman you are today"
the one who dances in restaurants and laughs like a flood.......
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