I just visited Journeymama in India, and read about her attempt to nourish the girl-child she really is, despite the heavy responsibilities of adulthood and womanhood. Then I visited Eurolush in Germany, whose posts remind me regularly of the fun, laughing, joyful girl-child I really am.
Strange thing is that my actual childhood (not metaphorically speaking) rarely contained moments of carefree play. I had a very happy childhood, but my personality tended more towards solitary peacefulness and introspection than skipping around the house while singing, bouncing a ball and twirling admiringly in my new dress in front of the mirror. If you know what I mean.
My younger brother spent YEARS standing in the doorway of my room, BEGGING me to come play with him. I refused to play. I know what you're thinking...my poor parents. Oh, hell, they soon got used to my ways and accepted the serious, quiet, old-woman-child in their midst. Of course, I'm still stuck with her today, but I think that she actually became much more playful and fun as she grew older. By the time she turns 80 she'll be positively giddy with life life life.
That being said, I still balk at the pressure to "have fun." I've never met any girls who just wanna have fun. I have, in the past, ruined many an OK day by constantly questioning myself: "Am I happy now? Is it fun now? Am I doing it right? Is this what a happy woman looks like? Is this what a happy family feels like?"
And now I shall amuse you with my favourite music from a lovely film called "Pan's Labyrinth." Being a little girl is not so simple really.
Friday, October 16, 2009
Thursday, October 15, 2009
Day 3 of the Eurolush Challenge
First, a quick question:
If I was an American character and I didn't know how to swim, and an Aussie friend of mind voiced her surprise at that fact, what American city/state would be the best to fill the gap in my explanatory response:
"I grew up in __________."
Did that make sense at all?
Moving right along.
Today is day 3 in the Eurolush challenge. Thanks to you all for your encouraging comments!
Today I opened the newspaper and saw that my little post about tv and mothering was in the "Heckler" column - that's the far left column of the back page which invites readers to write a "heckle." I had sent it in on a lark and there it was, with my name on the bottom.
Holy cow!! I almost passed out!!
Here is a link to it, also I got some comments. Who knew that people comment on the Heckler?! I actually didn't want to read the comments at first because I could immediately imagine some of the responses. It can get nasty out there in the big wide world, so this is a good exercise in thickening up my skin. Also a good exercise in jumping up and down and dancing and singing at the top of my lungs at the fabulous experience of seeing my words in a newspaper and getting some lovely comments.
The best part of my day? When I was sitting in the library and one of the librarians quietly came up to me and said "I enjoyed reading your article dear." She remembered my name from my library card. I tell you, that's the best library in the whole world.
Oh, just remembered something I wanted to tell you. One of my other local libraries has just started a new system for the borrowing of the latest fiction books. They buy 10 or so copies of 3 or 4 brand-new titles every month or so and put them on a separate set of shelves, you can borrow each for one week only, no reservations, no renewals. There were 4 copies of "Her Fearful Symmetry" just sitting there yesterday. Isn't that a clever idea?
That's about it for tonight. Baked salmon with rice and green salad for dinner, I shopped! I cooked! I'm still in a good mood! It's a miracle!!
If I was an American character and I didn't know how to swim, and an Aussie friend of mind voiced her surprise at that fact, what American city/state would be the best to fill the gap in my explanatory response:
"I grew up in __________."
Did that make sense at all?
Moving right along.
Today is day 3 in the Eurolush challenge. Thanks to you all for your encouraging comments!
Today I opened the newspaper and saw that my little post about tv and mothering was in the "Heckler" column - that's the far left column of the back page which invites readers to write a "heckle." I had sent it in on a lark and there it was, with my name on the bottom.
Holy cow!! I almost passed out!!
Here is a link to it, also I got some comments. Who knew that people comment on the Heckler?! I actually didn't want to read the comments at first because I could immediately imagine some of the responses. It can get nasty out there in the big wide world, so this is a good exercise in thickening up my skin. Also a good exercise in jumping up and down and dancing and singing at the top of my lungs at the fabulous experience of seeing my words in a newspaper and getting some lovely comments.
The best part of my day? When I was sitting in the library and one of the librarians quietly came up to me and said "I enjoyed reading your article dear." She remembered my name from my library card. I tell you, that's the best library in the whole world.
Oh, just remembered something I wanted to tell you. One of my other local libraries has just started a new system for the borrowing of the latest fiction books. They buy 10 or so copies of 3 or 4 brand-new titles every month or so and put them on a separate set of shelves, you can borrow each for one week only, no reservations, no renewals. There were 4 copies of "Her Fearful Symmetry" just sitting there yesterday. Isn't that a clever idea?
That's about it for tonight. Baked salmon with rice and green salad for dinner, I shopped! I cooked! I'm still in a good mood! It's a miracle!!
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Day two of the Eurolush challenge
Today I will talk about my latest purchase, a lovely skirt from Yoshi Jones. A lovely skirt which was 50% off, which really makes me smile. See...there I am, smiling, and posing a-la-Anna in my daughter's room. Miss Commentbox was NOT happy when she realised I had photographed her room. Oh well, she has the best mirror in the house.
Here is the fabric up close, isn't it just wonderful?
I'm writing this post in a terrible rush because Mr. Commentbox would like to go for an evening walk with me. When I said to him "I'll just write this post first," he became somewhat agitated. That might be because, in the past, I have been known to "just write this post first" for great lengths of time, finding myself browsing, reading, emailing and generally neglecting Mr. Commentbox.
So I'm off now.
What do you think of that my sweet Lushy?!! I'm posting 2 days in a row!!! Woohoooo!!!
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
A promise is a promise
I promised Eurolush that I'd post more often. Actually, I promised her that I'd post every day for 7 days and dedicate each post to her. I don't know what I was thinking...the pressure....the expectation....the anxiety...
What might Lushy like to read about today I wonder?
Lushy likes to read a lot actually. I can't keep up with her reading list, she's a bookworm, a very cute darling bookworm who curls up by her fire with Tex and reads while the autumn winds howl outside her cozy German house in the gorgeous village of Fraumuller.
So I shall talk about a book I have just finished reading. I belong to a book club (gasp, I know) and we chose this book this month and I got to take it home because the meeting was at my place and that means I got to choose first.
You're wondering what sort of strange book club I belong to? It's an anti-book-club really. We don't all read the same book, and often we don't read at all. During the last few months I lost my reading mojo and was still given a standing ovation by the group because I read "Who" and "New Idea."
Each month one of us gets a dozen books from the local store on spec and we vote on them and then we buy one or two new books to add to the suitcase library, and we return the rest. Sometimes we have lengthy discussions and arguments, for example I HATED "Eat, Pray, Love" while 2 of my friends ADORED it. I had to leave the room and stick my head in the freezer that evening, it got so ugly. Other times, we might be tired and just say "I liked it," or "Beautifully written," or "Great for the beach." But mostly we just gossip, and that's why I never ever leave book club first, 'cause then they all gossip about ME!
The book is "Her Fearful Symmetry" by Audrey Niffenegger, and guess what???!!! It's about twins!! Yep, a perfect book for Lushy. Niffenegger wrote "The Time Traveler's Wife" which I never read, can you believe I never read it? We rejected it at book club, probably because we were too busy gossiping and eating, I think we might have been at M's place that month and she's a gourmet cook. Anyway...back to the book. Ugliest cover in history of book covers, two anorexic blond girls dressed in white mini-skirts, berets and high white boots. But I like the picture of the author on the back, she looks like she should be a blogger (which is the highest compliment I can give anyone really).
But the story, the actual story, that's what Lushy will probably want to know about. Let me put it this way:
Things I loved about the book:
It made me believe in ghosts, or at least seriously wonder if my grandpa is watching me.
The American twins' aunt leaves them her London apartment in her will. It's an old, fabulous apartment filled with beautiful furniture and first-edition classic novels.
The descriptions of London remind me of Alice's style of writing and felt almost as comforting.
One of the characters has obsessive-compulsive disorder and I adore him and feel for him along with his friends.
Much of the action takes place in and near Highgate Cemetery which I never visited while in London. Why? Why did I not know of its existence?
There's a small white cat called "The Little Kitten of Death."
There's a picnic scene at "Postman's Park." WHY did I not know about this park when I was in London years ago?? Sob...
I could hardly bear to read the ending because I didn't want to finish the book, the suspense was so enjoyable.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, it's all about being TWINS, you know - like me and Lushy! Although we're not identical, Lushy is much cuter than me, I know, don't rub it in. All RIGHT, she's also much wittier than me. OK ALREADY, I KNOW that she's the beautiful and clever twin. I'm not at all bitter about that, because I love her. Like a sister.
See you tomorrow!
E xxxxxxxx
What might Lushy like to read about today I wonder?
Lushy likes to read a lot actually. I can't keep up with her reading list, she's a bookworm, a very cute darling bookworm who curls up by her fire with Tex and reads while the autumn winds howl outside her cozy German house in the gorgeous village of Fraumuller.
So I shall talk about a book I have just finished reading. I belong to a book club (gasp, I know) and we chose this book this month and I got to take it home because the meeting was at my place and that means I got to choose first.
You're wondering what sort of strange book club I belong to? It's an anti-book-club really. We don't all read the same book, and often we don't read at all. During the last few months I lost my reading mojo and was still given a standing ovation by the group because I read "Who" and "New Idea."
Each month one of us gets a dozen books from the local store on spec and we vote on them and then we buy one or two new books to add to the suitcase library, and we return the rest. Sometimes we have lengthy discussions and arguments, for example I HATED "Eat, Pray, Love" while 2 of my friends ADORED it. I had to leave the room and stick my head in the freezer that evening, it got so ugly. Other times, we might be tired and just say "I liked it," or "Beautifully written," or "Great for the beach." But mostly we just gossip, and that's why I never ever leave book club first, 'cause then they all gossip about ME!
The book is "Her Fearful Symmetry" by Audrey Niffenegger, and guess what???!!! It's about twins!! Yep, a perfect book for Lushy. Niffenegger wrote "The Time Traveler's Wife" which I never read, can you believe I never read it? We rejected it at book club, probably because we were too busy gossiping and eating, I think we might have been at M's place that month and she's a gourmet cook. Anyway...back to the book. Ugliest cover in history of book covers, two anorexic blond girls dressed in white mini-skirts, berets and high white boots. But I like the picture of the author on the back, she looks like she should be a blogger (which is the highest compliment I can give anyone really).
But the story, the actual story, that's what Lushy will probably want to know about. Let me put it this way:
Things I loved about the book:
It made me believe in ghosts, or at least seriously wonder if my grandpa is watching me.
The American twins' aunt leaves them her London apartment in her will. It's an old, fabulous apartment filled with beautiful furniture and first-edition classic novels.
The descriptions of London remind me of Alice's style of writing and felt almost as comforting.
One of the characters has obsessive-compulsive disorder and I adore him and feel for him along with his friends.
Much of the action takes place in and near Highgate Cemetery which I never visited while in London. Why? Why did I not know of its existence?
There's a small white cat called "The Little Kitten of Death."
There's a picnic scene at "Postman's Park." WHY did I not know about this park when I was in London years ago?? Sob...
I could hardly bear to read the ending because I didn't want to finish the book, the suspense was so enjoyable.
BUT MOST IMPORTANTLY, it's all about being TWINS, you know - like me and Lushy! Although we're not identical, Lushy is much cuter than me, I know, don't rub it in. All RIGHT, she's also much wittier than me. OK ALREADY, I KNOW that she's the beautiful and clever twin. I'm not at all bitter about that, because I love her. Like a sister.
See you tomorrow!
E xxxxxxxx
Monday, October 12, 2009
Research
It has been scientifically proven that listening to this song while dancing in front of the mirror, once your kids are tucked into bed (hooray!!), has a very positive effect on family life.
Private
It's the second week of school holidays here in Sydney, a time which I used to dread because it was very hard work. I challenge any mother to deny the fact that full-time holiday care for young children is very difficult. Or perhaps I am alone in this feeling, perhaps there are mothers who sail through their children's school holidays blissfully unaware of mothers like me.
Now that my two little commentboxes are teenagers (one about to graduate) I have almost forgotten those school holidays. But this morning I listened to a radio talk-back show about some new study which has found that television is detrimental to children's development and health. "OH PHOOEY!!" I found myself shouting through the steaming water of my shower, and suddenly all of the bitterness of those years came rushing back. Not bitterness at the children, but bitterness at a society that get its kicks from endlessly researching child development and then dumping that information on innocent, unsuspecting, naive mothers.
Mothers are doing all of the hard work, they are there, on call, 24/7. Mothers put aside their own needs and desires so as to raise their families, and all they want is an hour or two every day to have a break while the kids watch some television. Give them a break, researchers. Or better yet, why don't you research the emotional and psychological well-being of mothers who DO NOT let their kids watch television, and then research the impact those mothers have on their children at the end of a long, hard working day.
There are so many things I miss about the younger years of my family, but one thing I am delighted to have left behind is the constant criticism from the media aimed at mothers. The endless arguments about breastfeeding, crying it out, thumb-sucking, circumcision, nappies, haircuts, television, schooling, organicbloodyfood etc etc etc. The minute you have a baby it seems that everyone has an opinion. Why don't they research the impact television has on 50 year old men? Or the impact of junk food on 30 year old single women? Or the environmental impact of cardboard coffee-cups?
That's what I found most difficult about mothering young children - no privacy. Suddenly, everything you do in your home becomes public property. So to all the mothers of young kids on school holidays who are feeling guilty about putting on a Wiggles video so that they can write a post or cook dinner or stare into space with a cup of tea - stop feeling guilty right now!!! You are doing a brilliant job, one for which society should be thanking you. You should be provided with a FREE Wiggles video every year as a public service, and you should be encouraged to take breaks from your work - just like every childless worker in society who enjoys endless coffee breaks, lunch breaks, entire evenings of healthy relaxation, and quiet, fulfilling weekends.
So there.
Now that my two little commentboxes are teenagers (one about to graduate) I have almost forgotten those school holidays. But this morning I listened to a radio talk-back show about some new study which has found that television is detrimental to children's development and health. "OH PHOOEY!!" I found myself shouting through the steaming water of my shower, and suddenly all of the bitterness of those years came rushing back. Not bitterness at the children, but bitterness at a society that get its kicks from endlessly researching child development and then dumping that information on innocent, unsuspecting, naive mothers.
Mothers are doing all of the hard work, they are there, on call, 24/7. Mothers put aside their own needs and desires so as to raise their families, and all they want is an hour or two every day to have a break while the kids watch some television. Give them a break, researchers. Or better yet, why don't you research the emotional and psychological well-being of mothers who DO NOT let their kids watch television, and then research the impact those mothers have on their children at the end of a long, hard working day.
There are so many things I miss about the younger years of my family, but one thing I am delighted to have left behind is the constant criticism from the media aimed at mothers. The endless arguments about breastfeeding, crying it out, thumb-sucking, circumcision, nappies, haircuts, television, schooling, organicbloodyfood etc etc etc. The minute you have a baby it seems that everyone has an opinion. Why don't they research the impact television has on 50 year old men? Or the impact of junk food on 30 year old single women? Or the environmental impact of cardboard coffee-cups?
That's what I found most difficult about mothering young children - no privacy. Suddenly, everything you do in your home becomes public property. So to all the mothers of young kids on school holidays who are feeling guilty about putting on a Wiggles video so that they can write a post or cook dinner or stare into space with a cup of tea - stop feeling guilty right now!!! You are doing a brilliant job, one for which society should be thanking you. You should be provided with a FREE Wiggles video every year as a public service, and you should be encouraged to take breaks from your work - just like every childless worker in society who enjoys endless coffee breaks, lunch breaks, entire evenings of healthy relaxation, and quiet, fulfilling weekends.
So there.
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Thoughts upon attending my daughter's High School Graduation
Women I've Known
I've known many women
Having seen them for years,
Heard their words in the schoolyard,
All their hopes and their fears.
I've known women
Who worried,
I've known women
Who cried
With the joyfully fearsome
Sweet bitter goodbyes.
They would sit on the benches
(I see them there still)
And talk of the futures
Of their wants and their wills.
But their children will never
See quite what I've seen,
They'll change much of the settings
And the words
That have been.
For the women I've known
Have succumbed
(Through those years)
To a decade of handwringing
Hairsplitting cheer.
It's the cheer of the women
Who know that one day
That same schoolyard of laughter
Will pretend (far away)
To be more of what wasn't
And yet less of what was,
And a great deal of the other
With a teacher and class.
With a shoe
And a notebook,
A quite small
Pencil-case,
Something lost
And then found
On the child's small face.
And with a label so named
That it's easily seen,
Those same women I've known
Know too well
Where I've been.
I've known many women
Having seen them for years,
Heard their words in the schoolyard,
All their hopes and their fears.
I've known women
Who worried,
I've known women
Who cried
With the joyfully fearsome
Sweet bitter goodbyes.
They would sit on the benches
(I see them there still)
And talk of the futures
Of their wants and their wills.
But their children will never
See quite what I've seen,
They'll change much of the settings
And the words
That have been.
For the women I've known
Have succumbed
(Through those years)
To a decade of handwringing
Hairsplitting cheer.
It's the cheer of the women
Who know that one day
That same schoolyard of laughter
Will pretend (far away)
To be more of what wasn't
And yet less of what was,
And a great deal of the other
With a teacher and class.
With a shoe
And a notebook,
A quite small
Pencil-case,
Something lost
And then found
On the child's small face.
And with a label so named
That it's easily seen,
Those same women I've known
Know too well
Where I've been.
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