Where do I begin?

It's been so long since I posted anything here. How did that happen?

I suppose my daily routine has changed to such an extent that all of my energy has gone into my Film School work. I would love to tell you all that it's been an absolute blast, that I'm writing wonderful plots and scenes and revelling in my new life. Unfortunately, the reality is quite different. Learning the craft of screenwriting is extraordinarily difficult, and while there have been many pleasures and discoveries, there have also been dark moments of despair.

The most wonderful aspect of my new studies is getting to know my fellow writers. They are an interesting bunch, each one unique in his or her own way. It's quite thrilling to read the work of these nine other writers, and to try and understand something of their lives, experiences and motivations. It's true that you cannot ever really hide in your writing, you will always reveal something of yourself, and it is this precious kernel of truth which is what makes both reading and writing so very exciting to me.

Blogging has been my saving grace during the last month, in the sense that my experience of writing and reading in this forum of ours has served as a strong foundation. We (bloggers) take for granted that our only form of communication with each other is through the written word, but it really is a wondrous thing. Perhaps we are too eager to dismiss our writing as a type of indulgent "women's work," when it really is an incredibly powerful force. Not many writers are so lucky as to have such a circle of friends.

Our class of writers has been allocated an Internet "forum" within the Film School website, allowing us to share things with each other. I'm sure you won't be surprised to learn that I'm the most frequent contributor. I post my little comments and wait impatiently for responses which seldom come; my fellow writers don't have the same blogging habit as I do. Of course, my fellow writers are also almost all much younger than me; they are busy writing super-cool sci-fi TV episodes or mobster-killer action thrillers. Others try to write about love, bravely attempting sex scenes which make me blush and feel much older than I really am. How did I become so mature and old-fashioned? Well...truth be told I was like this since I was a child...when I was 8 years old and living in Israel I remember going to the tailor to ask her to lengthen my skirt and she laughed and said that I was an old lady in a girl's body.

I have found myself dressing for the young women in my class. What I mean by this is that they notice what I wear and they compliment me, so now I'm conscious of the image I'm projecting. Isn't that funny? They are in their late 20s and wonderfully sweet, such slim figures, such shiny hair and such adorable freshness. A couple of them are newly married and make an effort to ask about my family...my kids. As I talk to them I realise how little they know, how naive they are, and how appropriate that is. I feel my age all of a sudden, and I mean that in a very good way, because I love being 41, and I love having grown-up children and a house of my own. I love that I have lived my life the way I wanted to, with all of the hardships and joys which came my way, and that I no longer look back with any regrets. If this course of study does nothing else, it has at least shown me that.

I'm exhausted, my eyes are closing, it's cold and windy and rainy outside. Time for bed.

I shall leave you with the trailer of the best film I have seen this year (so far). It's a thriller with a LOVE STORY - and ADULT love story which will melt...your...heart.....

Good night dear friends xxxx